Not that there's anything wrong with that...*

This is going to be way over the heads of at least a few people who read this blog.

So this whole thing started when both Deanna and Brianne quit the facebook (which is totally fine by the way, I understand why they did it**).

I mean, it hurt a little bit that two people very close to me were just checking out of reality, but that's their choice.

But back to the issue at hand.

Being that my girlfriend had quit the facebook, and Erik's girlfriend had quit the facebook, I decided to take this once in a lifetime opportunity to marry Erik on the facebook and live happily ever after. In the "fake marriage on the internet to one of my best friends" sense of the word, of course.

So I shed a tear, changed my relationship status, and prepared to make my move on Erik. Not wanting people to rush to my side and comfort me in my fake time of need I hid the news feed story of my recent breakup.

Ok, I'll be honest. The pain was real, but it was just too soon.

Everything was going about as well as could be expected under the circumstances. But my happy life turned emotional nightmare was about to get worse. Erik was still listed as being in a relationship. (Note to Erik: She's gone man, give it up. It's time to face facts and move on. I have). This was a big problem for me, because apparently being listed as already in a relationship is enough for the staff of the facebook to deny a potential marriage request. My sense is that they are, as John McCain so eloquently put it in 2000, "agents of intolerance." Who are they to tell me that I can't marry a man already in a relationship? If there really is a war on marriage, the facebook is fighting back.***

But I digress.

I should take this time to remind you that I was still heartbroken at having just ended my relationship with Deanna,**** and was now facing the dream-crushing reality that I would not be able to marry Erik (without, you know, getting him to change his status first). In my despair, I turned for comfort to the person who I knew for certain would always give me a soft landing. I married Kyle.

And to my everlasting joy, he said yes.

The next day I opened my facebook account to find a note from a high school friend with whom I've lost touch.

"booke! whats up buddy... married now i see. is it true? congrats!"

"Uh oh," I thought, "better hide that news feed as well before this gets out of hand."

I did, and moved on with my day, comfortably certain that I had nipped that potentially embarrassing/confusing situation in the bud.

The next day I signed on again, this time to a message from a college friend.

"You look so happy together."

Look so happy together? Wait...what?

And then I scrolled up. To my profile picture. The one of Bryce and I. Smiling. Together. Where I am embracing him from behind. In tuxedos. In a church.*****

At which point I started laughing hysterically.

The end.


p.s.- Since then I have gotten two more priceless wall posts, also from an old friend:

first post: "um, did I just read on your profile you are married???? um...que paso?"

second post: "wait that is a dude, OK, so your not married... But you are in a 559 area code, i guess we have some catching up to do =)"

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Life is great.






*Seinfeld. Still sorely missed.
**Which also doesn't make it any less fun to call them quitters.
***I'm pretty sure that's what they use the money for from selling gifts.
****Albeit only on the facebook. Hi Deanna!
*****She's right, we do look happy in that picture.

I'm scared to see stats for Douglas

Matt Yglesias posts a really fun little toy: A website that allows you to see demographic information from any zip code in the country. For all of you haters, 80501 Longmont only has 9% of the population living below the poverty line. Which is still too high, but far below what some of you would say. Have fun.